Two Weeks A Mommy

Hello Everyone,

On July 27th, I gave birth to the love of my life, Halley Rose. Nothing I have learned over the past 25 years could ever prepare me for how much I love and adore her. All I know is that every day I count my blessings that she is happy and healthy – and I pray that I will be able to keep her that way from here on out.

As the first of my core group of friends to have a baby, I had a lot to learn on my own. The last time I really dealt with a baby was when my sister was born 20 years ago and I was 5. So here is some advice from someone just starting out as a mom.

  1. As a pre-labor prep option, it definitely helps to have pre-made meals in the house. Baked ziti, any kind of casserole, etc. I really didn’t have the energy to do this but if you do or know someone who will make some stuff for you – that’s great and it will make your life easier pp. I personally barely had any energy to even think about food so we ended up ordering in a lot.
  2. Labor is scary and painful. Hopefully this is not true for you but it definitely was for me. I had planned not to get the epidural and let’s just say – anyone who chooses not to get the epidural should be immediately wheeled to the psych ward. JK! More power to you but it did not work for me. Be open to changing your birth plan if you need to. At the end of the day, your babies health matters more than anything.
  3. There is a recovery period after labor. I assumed that I would be up and running the next day because I gave birth vaginally – not true. I felt like I was hit by a truck and I learned that for some things, it is worth it to get hit by a truck. Not to mention that you can have some postpartum infections, so if you have a fever/chills go in to your doctor and get that taken care of stat. Unfortunately, I fell into this category. Taking care of you is very important during this time. Your baby needs you so make sure you try to take care of yourself as well. BTW: You can’t have sex or go swimming for 6 weeks – I literally had no clue about this so I was disappointed about no swimming for the rest of the summer, I had an idea about the no sex thing but I didn’t think it was for a whole 6 weeks. #lame. 
  4. You decide when it’s best to bring your baby out. When you get home, half of the people in your lives will expect you to stay in your house for 4 weeks and not come out, the other half will be trying to come over / call / talk to you all the time. Find your balance and don’t worry about everyone else. Everyone will eventually get to see your bundle of joy and if you wanna take the baby out 2 days post delivery – go ahead. I wouldn’t bring them anywhere there would be a lot of children (germs/colds) but do you.
  5. YOU WILL BE JUDGED. Everyone will try to give you their 2 cents. Take it and then decide later what you want to do with it. Don’t let other people’s remarks bother you because you are doing what you think is best for your child. Everyone has an opinion on parenting and there is no perfect, right course. As long as you are thinking about your babies best interest, you will be fine. Haters gonna hate.
  6. Breastfeeding is almost impossible for the first five days. If you want to breastfeed (from the breast – not pumping) you are going to have to diligently work at it. The baby will be crying and starving and you will be crying with breast milk leaking all over the place but I swear that in a few days everything will come together. It’s very trying to get through that initial period and postpartum emotions are not helpful but it’s a dance. They are learning and you are learning. The more you work at it, the better you both will get.
  7. Postpartum emotions are insane. As a husband/wife/fiance/boy or girlfriend/sig. other if  you think PMSing is bad, postpartum emotions are 1000x more intense. I do not easily give into my emotions in general but I was hysterically crying just looking at the beautiful/perfect/amazing baby we made. Just let things flow and you will be fine. These should start to get less and less intense over the next couple of weeks and supposedly by 3 weeks pp you are back to normal hormonally. If you are feeling depressed, definitely let someone know as pp depression is not something to make light of.
  8. It’s important to have your partner around or a significant person who will be in the babies life. We were lucky that B was able to take off for two weeks to be around to help. I honestly don’t think I would have survived without him around. It really made things better and I think it’s great that they are already off to starting a wonderful father/daughter relationship.
  9. Be prepared to do laundry. Something that is always suggested when attending a baby shower or buying baby gifts is “don’t buy newborn clothing, parents always get too much and they barely wear them before they are the next size”. Expecting an 8 lb baby myself, I was happy that we only received a few outfits in NB. Halley was born about 6 lbs so we really ended up needing some of those outfits and everything I put her in for one reason or another managed to get poo, pee, or spit up on. Don’t buy more clothes, just do the laundry. Save the $$$ for something you really need.
  10. Enjoy these moments. Don’t stress to much, your baby can feel it. Your baby will never be this tiny again. Take a million pictures, have a million snuggles and really cherish every moment you have with him/her. It will go by so fast. Just like these past two weeks did.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Leave below.

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standing up for yourself

Hello Everyone,

Today is #BossLadyWednesday and initially I struggled about what to post. Yes, I am new to blogging and my editorial calendar is still very much in the works. What I have promised myself is that at minimum I will post my Boss Lady Wednesday posts every week. So as I was sinking about what to write to you on my weekly post about how to be a boss lady, I realized that there was an issue in my professional role that I needed to address recently.

After the issue was mentioned to me – I immediately reacted but it did not express my true sentiments about the situation to the person who brought it up. I got on the train, read my book and on the walk home I realized how much this issue upset me. It served as a reminder to me that even though we have no formal rules against X, because you are one to bend when we ask, we are asking you to limit doing X.

I was pissed. I spoke to B about it and decided that I would write an email – which he attempted to convince me not to do. Then, I spoke to my mother about it. Finally, I sent an email that I would not regret. The response I received lacked heart but addressed that the issue should have never been brought up in the first place, as it was not an issue with our organization.

There was no negative backlash, no dramatic results, just an admission that “hey this should not have been brought up to you when there is no formal policy about it”.

It is hard to stand up for yourself, especially when it means standing up to a supervisor or even a higher entity, but it is so important to address something that makes you uncomfortable, or is inappropriate as long as you handle it in the appropriate manner. If you have an issue with your boss and it’s the first time this has happened, I think it is important for you to talk to them about how you are feeling. If it’s the second time, I would bring it up to them again in an email where you reference that this is the second time the issue has happened. Email trails can help you if anything goes sour one way or the other but we are hoping that this issue is minor. If it comes to this, three strikes and you are out. I find it would be most appropriate to speak to your HR department and if you don’t have one, I imagine that their boss would be the next place to go.

Standing up for yourself is not easy but it will help you appreciate yourself, be appreciated by others, and most importantly keep you happy. Stewing over an issue without addressing it will cause you extra stress and is bad for your overall well being. So if you are reading this and realizing that there is something that you need to take care of, use this as a source of inspiration to make things better in your life. If you have any questions about how to handle a situation, please feel free to comment below or email me.

Thanks for reading!

New Beginnings

It’s 2015, the year I turn 25 and to put it bluntly, I am not where I saw myself 5 years ago – and after much internal conflict along the way – I’m okay with that.

At the end of 2014, my boyfriend and I had checked something off of my bucket list that I was sure wouldn’t happen for at least a few more years. We are going to be parents! Right now I am 4 months pregnant and the first of my friends to have a baby. We got engaged at the end of the year and now I’m a fiancée, another bucket list check.

In the spirit of checking things off my bucket list, I decided to start this blog – as it has always been something I wanted to do but could never commit to. So here I am being open with the internet about my life and my goals and I hope you can support me 🙂

A friend of a friend used this quote in one of her profiles, “trust your struggle” – and it’s been somewhat of a mantra for me. Life doesn’t give you what you can’t handle, it may be a rocky road but as long as you stay positive and keep on moving, nothing can hold you back.

Let me know your thoughts.