Gossip Cop and “Friends” at Work

At work it can sometimes make things seem more bearable to talk about what’s going on in your coworker’s personal lives or personnel issues in the office rather than work or fluff conversations about the weather or what you did this weekend. We have all fallen into this trip whether it was intentional or not. Although, it may seem nice to know everything that’s going on around you: if so and so received a warning or blah blah is having issues with another coworker. It may make you feel good to know that you’re not the only one with issues in this work environment. It may make you feel somewhat empowered to know that you are not in this bad situation.

Whatever feelings it makes you feel, positive or negative know that there is absolutely no benefit to participating in office gossip and more than like, it can get you in trouble. If you know something you are not supposed to and make the mistake of mentioning it to the wrong person, it can make things seriously worse. If you have a connection with an Executive but are working for his/her direct report it may cause them to worry about their position and change their attitude towards you. They may feel threatened or uncomfortable which will trickle down to you. Or they may treat you differently in order to look good to their boss, only to have your coworkers resent you for it.

Any personal relationships you maintain at work can eventually even be a risk and in general, it’s better to not talk about work at work or home at work with your coworker/friend. It is very important to keep things professional in the office because you never know when your “friend” will become your boss or when you will become your friend’s boss. You don’t want to have to fire someone who is your friend, because that will hurt your relationship.

If you start at work with no connections, its best to make sure that throughout your time at this organization/office you keep your friendships to a certain level of closeness. When one of you moves on, you can develop the relationship without all of the added risks.

My advice, keep your lips sealed when the gossip starts and keep a distance from your work friends (until you or they move on of course!). If they are good enough to keep around, they will understand this mentality and it will help you keep things professional in the office. It’s a tough decision to make but ultimately, it’s for the best.

Advice? Questions? Comments? Leave Below.


What an OB Nurse Wishes She Could Tell Someone About Being Pregnant

Refreshing and comforting.


covering ears

  • Stop complaining.  The older I get, the more friends, family, and coworkers I see having fertility issues.  Pregnancy really is a gift—yes, the nausea, the back pain, the pressure—it’s all a gift that not everyone gets to experience. Imagine if you spent years of your life unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, watching time and money dwindle away from you with still no child to show for it? If you heard someone complaining about “the baby kicking so hard” you’d want to punch them in the face. Yes, sometimes being pregnant is not all rainbows and epiphanies.  Some days you might be miserable, but other days you may feel like you can conquer the world! No one ever said pregnancy is a walk in the park. That’s why men can’t do it :/ I’m not saying don’t complain about anything. I’m just saying have some perspective.  You have round ligament…

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standing up for yourself

Hello Everyone,

Today is #BossLadyWednesday and initially I struggled about what to post. Yes, I am new to blogging and my editorial calendar is still very much in the works. What I have promised myself is that at minimum I will post my Boss Lady Wednesday posts every week. So as I was sinking about what to write to you on my weekly post about how to be a boss lady, I realized that there was an issue in my professional role that I needed to address recently.

After the issue was mentioned to me – I immediately reacted but it did not express my true sentiments about the situation to the person who brought it up. I got on the train, read my book and on the walk home I realized how much this issue upset me. It served as a reminder to me that even though we have no formal rules against X, because you are one to bend when we ask, we are asking you to limit doing X.

I was pissed. I spoke to B about it and decided that I would write an email – which he attempted to convince me not to do. Then, I spoke to my mother about it. Finally, I sent an email that I would not regret. The response I received lacked heart but addressed that the issue should have never been brought up in the first place, as it was not an issue with our organization.

There was no negative backlash, no dramatic results, just an admission that “hey this should not have been brought up to you when there is no formal policy about it”.

It is hard to stand up for yourself, especially when it means standing up to a supervisor or even a higher entity, but it is so important to address something that makes you uncomfortable, or is inappropriate as long as you handle it in the appropriate manner. If you have an issue with your boss and it’s the first time this has happened, I think it is important for you to talk to them about how you are feeling. If it’s the second time, I would bring it up to them again in an email where you reference that this is the second time the issue has happened. Email trails can help you if anything goes sour one way or the other but we are hoping that this issue is minor. If it comes to this, three strikes and you are out. I find it would be most appropriate to speak to your HR department and if you don’t have one, I imagine that their boss would be the next place to go.

Standing up for yourself is not easy but it will help you appreciate yourself, be appreciated by others, and most importantly keep you happy. Stewing over an issue without addressing it will cause you extra stress and is bad for your overall well being. So if you are reading this and realizing that there is something that you need to take care of, use this as a source of inspiration to make things better in your life. If you have any questions about how to handle a situation, please feel free to comment below or email me.

Thanks for reading!

“You only have one face” & an ode to pregnancy

As I am sure is the case with most of you, sometimes, a statement is made in front of you that resonates. You may not agree with it, you may not act on it but for some reason, you can’t forget it. A while ago, a co-worker made a comment to me about her very serious (and very expensive) skin care routine. In the defense of the expense, she added “you only have one face”. This is true, we have one face and one chance to keep it looking good because at some point age will set in and change things.

At first, I didn’t really think much of the idea of spending a lot of money on taking care of my skin. I love the sun, I love to tan and in general, my skin is pretty sensitive about products I use on it. Therefore, I have spent most of my days refraining from using drug store skin products and wearing little to no makeup unless I had a special event to attend. Sure, I like to wear makeup occasionally but I could never and have never gotten into the habit of wearing make up regularly. I happen to think this is for the better, but I am sure there are others who don’t agree.

About half way through my pregnancy, I was struck with the idea that I need to start taking better care of myself. (Aside from the beginning of remembering to take my vitamins and trying to eat enough vegetables) I realized I needed to start taking care of my skin. The only product I had been using on my body up until this point was Palmer’s Tummy Butter, thanks to the good advice of another friend. Did it stop me from getting stretch marks? Unfortunately, it did not but I definitely feel my skin is in a better place than it would be without my daily tummy lathering.

Moving on, I read an article where Jennifer Aniston mentioned her use of Aveeno as an every day moisture (with 15 spf) and that she had been using it for years. This could be a total crock of crap (as no one knows what her real daily routine is and if she felt like spending money to buy La Mer or some other expensive product, we all know she could) but her argument was enough to get me to spend $15 on this day time face cream.  Long story short, I started using Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 15 on my face every day. The way my face started to feel and look encouraged me to add to my routine a night time cream and this time I looked no further than Aveeno: Positively Radiant Intensive Night Cream.

So Ladies, this accounts for my current skin routine (keep in mind that I am 24 and have combination skin, so this may not work for you) . I have been able to keep this routine for about the last month and I know I will have to add some additional sunscreen with the weather warming up in NY.

This routine has been working for me and I recommend doing something to take care of your skin. If not for you for your loved ones. Skin cancer is no joke and who wants wrinkles anyway?

What routines do you use? Do you have any recommendations for facial sunscreen? Did pregnancy help you come up with a different routine?

Organizing 101: Home and Office

Last week, on Boss Lady Wednesday, I posted about some introductory Management Lessons that I felt were very relevant to the multiple jobs I have held.

This week, I would like to post about some organizational tips/tools that have helped me to manage not only my 9-5 but my home in a much better way. Keep in mind these tips are very simple, but if you had not used them previously, it will make a huge difference in your keeping things together.

  1. Lists! If you want to get anything done, whether it’s chores around the house, grocery shopping, etc. Making a list helps you in one of two ways. Just writing down what you need to do will help you recall it later on – even if the list is unavailable to you. If you leave a list for your husband (or children, I guess) it is easier for them to see what you want rather than having to remember it before you come home. What makes this even more worth your time is making the list as soon as it comes into your head – I need to do blank tomorrow. Write it down and then tomorrow you know you can reference your list to get everything done.
  2. Calendars. I used to be terrible about this but honestly, I will not make any plans or appointments without checking my iCal (on my phone) which is automatically populated with my work calendar. Say goodbye to missing dates with friends or doctor’s appointments. Note: If you do not have a smart phone, using a date planner or mini calendar that is easy to carry around will also work. I personally use my cell phone – and I back it up on my iCloud in case anything happens to it. 
  3. Doodle.com. This website is a great way to schedule events, lunches, dinners, meetings, etc. with a group of friends or clients who have various email clients (i.e. – they are not all on your blank.com exchange server). Doodle allows the host of the event to choose a few dates to meet up and then each person can vote on which day works for them. This tool has really helped to make last minute meetings and dinners work swimmingly.
  4. Filtering your emails. If you only use one email or you use one email for multiple purposes, it makes your life so much more efficient to filter out your emails by a specified category. This way you can check the ones you know you need to look at and save the other emails for another time, if they are not so important for you.
  5. Pinterest. Forget your favorites bar -it’s a thing of the past, pinterest is one of the most incredible websites you can use. Find a recipe online that you want to try? Pin It. Find a decor piece that you like? Pin It. Personally, I even have the Pin It button right on my browser so I can pin any website whenever I want. It’s great for more than just lifestyle/home websites, you can pin anything so reading tips online about how to run your business or a great tool that you can use to make your life more efficient really helps and it’s all in one place and easily accessible with internet access.
  6. For my hoarders/collectors: Keeping your life organized is much easier when you don’t have things you don’t need in the way. My advice is to start looking at things from the point of view – “is this functional? how often do I use it? do I use it at all?” This step is much more complicated than the other 5, but if you can get yourself to a point where you are only keeping this around that are beneficial and removing clutter from your home it is much easier to keep things looking nice.

These tips are designed to help you manage your time and your life. What helps you keep your life organized? Are any of these tips helpful for you? Other questions or comments? Leave below.

Happy Mother’s Day

On Saturday, we hosted a Mother’s Day Brunch for our moms and my grandma. I decided to do a French-themed menu so this is what I put together:


French Sandwich (puff pastry sandwich with grey poupon, pepper jack cheese and salami)

Spinach and Mushroom Quiche


Quiche Lorraine 

French Toast with Strawberry Butter (fruit butter was so easy to make – I will definitely be making it again!)


2 Baked Bries (blueberry-lemon and peach)

Fruit Salad

Homemade Lemon Jello with Homemade Whipped Cream (I didn’t use basil – very tart and lemony, perfect with the whipped cream)

along with Iced Coffee, Tea, Mimosas, Juice, etc.


All of the recipes are available under my Mother’s Day Brunch board on Pinterest!

It wasn’t too fancy but it got the job done for less than $30 a person, which would be unheard of in NYC. It was a nice way to show everyone our apartment and have everyone in the same place inexpensively. We are still getting settled and collecting some necessary home wares but I think we did a pretty good job.  How did you celebrate your Mother’s on Mother’s Day?

Management Lessons 101

Although I have only been a “Manager” for a couple of months now and most of my job doesn’t involve direct managing of employees, I have definitely experienced “managing” enough to know what works and what doesn’t. Here are some quick tips for managers who need a refresh.

  1. If you make a mistake, own up to it. It is disheartening to watch your manager blame or use a “we” when everyone in the room knows whose fault it is (not that your m.o. should be the blame game). If you are honest about your mistakes, your employees are more likely to feel comfortable being honest about theirs and they are more likely to respect you – we are all human here.
  2. Be an active participant in what your employees are doing. You should know all of their jobs inside and out, so when a problem arises you can be the most knowledgeable on the subject, not the other way around. Also, when an employee leaves you will know the work and the kind of person you want to be their replacement. The more you need your employees for every little thing, the less valuable you are as an employee.
  3. Keep your direct reports in the loop. When you can share some information about upcoming company-wide issues or successes, let your team know so they can distribute the information downward. Letting your employees know about wins and losses lets them feel like they are part of a team not just a stiff company.
  4. Offer to help. If you see an employee that looks like they are overly stressed offer to help them but actually provide assistance. Maybe you know a better way to help solve a problem they are having or can take something off their plate to help them meet a deadline. Even if you don’t, they will feel like you are concerned about them, in a positive way.
  5. Acknowledge their wins. If someone on your team is promoted, announce it. If an employee receives a letter of thanks from a client, share it. This will help to create a culture where your teams wants wins. Appreciating your employees will go a long way.

These 5 tips will definitely help you encourage a positive team environment with growth for both you as a manager and for them as your employees.